Is so Blessed!

It has been over two months since I have posted my last post. To catch up on everything that has happened the past two months, I will start telling you now. Throughout the month of September, I seemed to be doing pretty well with being away from home. In reality though, it became one of the hardest things for me to ever experience. My heart was aching to be at home in Delta with my family and those great people that I love. I have always been such a momma’s girl that it was so hard for me to not tear up and call my mom every single day. Finally, I had to just say to myself, “Kasha, you have to buck it up, stay strong, and keep moving forward.” College has been such an eye opener for me. I never realized how much my parents did for me, until I came up to school. Meanwhile, the reality of having to grow up set in fast. I have had to learn how to budget money, cook more things on my own, but most of all learning to live with different people. Girls are the hardest for me to get along with. I have had my moments that I would rather live in the street any day, than having to be with my roommates. They aren’t bad girls, but let’s say that our personalities are way different. It sometimes can feel like a battle between the hormones of each different girl. My classes have been really great. I love my professors; they have made such a big difference in the way I learn. I mean at times I hate to do homework, but of course it has to be done. I love my job! The people that I work with are fantastic! I have the greatest co-workers that have made such a big difference in my life. They make my job enjoyable! I can say that I always look forward in going to work. It’s better than sitting at home on my butt doing nothing. Towards the last few weeks of September, I was having a really hard time feeling that I was wanted anywhere. I have always been a social person, but it seemed as soon as I got up here, I went into a hiding place. I have never had a harder time than trying to get out of my comfort zone and meet people. My ward is a very great ward, but I felt that I had to be on my guard at all times. I was afraid to let people know who I was. I had the fear that I was going to be judged because I was going to be able to be myself. That has all changed since then. I started talking to my mom about how I was feeling; she told me that I needed to go see my bishop. Mothers are always right about what we should be doing. Of course I listened to her and set up a time to go see Bishop Hawkins. Meanwhile, before I went to go see him, I was having an emotional breakdown. It seemed nothing that I first wanted was important anymore. I wanted to quit school, go home and be there, and just hide myself away from people. I had just barely received a calling to be a part of the Compassionate Service Committee in the Relief Society. I accepted the calling, even though I felt that I had nothing to offer this position. I kept having “Pity” Parties. I kept feeling sorry for myself, rather than focusing on how blessed I am. Talking to the bishop helped open my eyes to how blessed I am. Especially how blessed my family was for me to be up here getting an education. This last weekend was General Conference, it was amazing! President Monson made the announcement that young women are now able to serve missions at the age of 19. It really hit me that in a few short months that I will be turning 19. I have always had a desire to serve a mission, but since I have been at school and have made plans. I am very uncertain to know what choice to make. Though a mission isn’t a necessary thing for me to do, I have always wanted to serve one. I know a mission is an opportunity of a lifetime, but also getting an education is too. I know that right now that I am supposed to be getting an education, but there are going to be things that are going to try to take over my goals. I have time to decide on a mission, but for now I am going to focus on my blessings of now and live for today.